Have you ever heard of that obscure word “sonder”? It has been over 3 years since I initially learned of it, but it has stuck with me. Here’s the definition:
n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk. (Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows)
It’s an interesting concept to try and swallow. Our egos tend to get in the way. Basically, life pretty much revolves around you, according to your brain, and that’s nothing new. We have to be looking out for ourselves in order to survive, in order to function daily.
But that’s the beauty of personal blogs. For just a moment, any random person can read what’s happening in your life, how you’re feeling and that crazy existential thought you had earlier; they can vicariously live through you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted this blog to become: a place to share my victories, ponder my failures and let the real me shine through.
For a long time, I have been too worried about what my ‘audience’ wants to read. What information can I share with them that is worth their time? Little did I know, I was forgetting the most important part. What do I want to write about? What sparks my creativity? What do I want to share with the world?
My favorite posts I’ve ever shared have been the personal ones. I’ve never cared if anyone read my little space on the internet, but somehow doubt, fear and the pursuit of being just like everyone else has overtaken this happy, little internet sanctuary.
So, I’m going back to the basics. I’m sick of trying to be the next blogging sensation. I just want to be me. Wholeheartedly me.