I’d just like to send out a public service announcement to everyone: I’m NOT normal…and that’s okay.
When did partying and getting drunk become the conventional lifestyle of an 18 year old? Why am I expected to spend all my free time socializing and hanging out with ‘friends’.
Let’s get one thing straight: I LIKE being alone. I’m an introvert, and I thrive on individualized work. I would much rather sit at home with my dog and work on cheerleading or my blog then go get stoned at a frat party.
I spent my entire high school career trying to be ‘normal’. I’d compete with other kids in my class to get the best grade because I though that’s what everyone else was doing. I’d take on loads of extra-curricular activities because someone once told me that’s how you got into a good college. I’d go to parties and pretend to drink because that’s what everyone told me was cool. Of course, when I’d not do one of the above everyone just assumed there was something wrong with me.
The thing is though…I should have been getting good grades because I liked what I was learning. I should have been doing extra-curricular activities because I found joy in them. I should NOT have been going to parties because everyone told me too. In fact, I HATED parties, it was a complete waste of time in my opinion. I would have much rather sat at home and read a book.
It really frustrates me that I’m viewed as this weird mutant teenager. Everyone is different, but I think the reason I really stick out is because I had enough courage to say F*** It, and do my own thing. I definitely didn’t have that courage in high school; and if it wasn’t for my complete meltdown of a senior year,I’d probably still be trying to fit in.
It’s funny, I used to read for fun. I love reading and escaping my reality into a fiction novel. My family used to tease me about how much I read. It wasn’t until I started high school that my love of reading really changed. When AP courses, sport practices, and bonus homework came into the equation, reading pretty much fell off the wagon. For about 3 years, I didn’t touch a book outside of my required ones for school (and even those ones were hard to get through).
I don’t know what happened. Did I not have enough time? Was it too much for my brain to handle? or Did I just not want to hear about these fiction characters great lives? I can’t really say, but I’m truly sad that it ever happened.
As of now, I’m trying to piece my life put back together. I’m trying to incorporate the things I love into my daily life and stop doing things because people ‘tell me to’, as hard as it may be.
So please, if you see me working by myself all night, not going to parties/socializing with random people, or trying really hard to become the person I want to be: don’t be an a-hole and accuse me of being a strange person.
Instead, congratulate me on accepting my weirdness and becoming who I always should have been. I’m tired of repressing my introverted nature, and I’m ready to become the REAL DELANEY!
okay… rant over.